Dance of the Masques

Dance of the Masques
precious pain like stained glass
fragile yet beautiful

cast aside your mask she says
gleefully tossing hers aside across the room

it lands with a bounce
upon the heart shaped bed

rose coloured glasses in the temple of doom
never in fashion you should know this by now

peeling and peeling she removes layer after layer
yet the task is never ending and the masks are countless

her head swims with numbers backwards and forwards
left and right ~ sideways and inside out

exhausted she collapses in a corner
with yet another masque in her hand

and one upon her face, and with a heaving sigh
she glances - at the masques all over the place

in disbelief shaking her head
"These cannot all be mine"

she peels another and another adding them to the mountain of masques
in the middle of the room and begins to cry.....

29OCT 2011
(c) all rights reserved 



There are days she feels like she's in a fishbowl with no water.
She struggled through and survived, healed from a long journey of pain and bad marriages, removed many masques...Still more remain to be removed.


Still she feels alone in this dry and barren fishbowl.
Where is her identity?
When will that last mask be removed to reveal her true-self to the world??
Will it ever be safe enough for her to remove the very last one?

Just because I have a voice...

#NHBPM #HAWMC Day 12 Prompt: Teach a class. 

What’s something that you’re uniquely great at and could teach a class on? 

Write the tutorial in a blog post. Bonus points for images, links to resources, and video.

First, I would like to say that the only thing I am uniquely good at is being myself. I would like to share a few things with you on communicating with those who are Deaf or Hard of Hearing. I began losing my hearing many years ago and currently am closer to the Deaf World than the hearing. What frustrates me, even to tears some days, is when hearing people (Some, not all) give me the eye roll or some other *look* when I tell them I am unable to understand them, could they please repeat themselves...etc....I wear two hearing aids and I am only 50. People get this idea that I am too young to have this hearing loss and because I am able to speak I must be able to hear and understand them. 

Here are some basic guides for everyone when in conversation with a Deaf or Hard of Hearing person: HOH - Hard of Hearing.......

1) Take Your hand AWAY from your mouth We rely on facial expressions and when we cannot see your eyes and mouth we have no clue what you are saying.
2) Please only one person talk at a time. multiple conversations are very confusing.
3) Please don't tell us *Oh never mind, it wasn't important* when we ask you to repeat something. Often we feel unimportant and left out. 
4) Don't be afraid to make mistakes when communicating with us. If you botch a sign we will laugh with you. At least you are trying and that is appreciated. 
5) Well lit areas make it easier for conversations to take place.
6) If we are wearing hearing aids it does not automatically mean we can understand you. 
7) If there is difficulty getting your information across to the Deaf or HOH person then a notepad and pen are a fantastic and most acceptable resource. 
8) Please be facing us when speaking to us.
9)  Men - Moustaches - please keep them trimmed so it does not block your mouth and makes it easier to lip-read.
10) Please get our attention in some way before engaging conversation. Touch gently on shoulder or make other movement to let us know you wish to say something to us. 

Most Important - Make and Keep Eye Contact while conversing
http://www.fwdioc.org/ministries/deaf/Documents/communicating_with_deaf.pdf
Minnesota Dept Human Services

Excellent Channel to visit and subscribe to: She is  aK-12 Deaf Educator, Activist for Deaf babies and more..

http://www.youtube.com/user/avbria
Deaf Mom's World  A Great Blog to Visit!

This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: :http://bit.ly/vU0g9J

My VNG and latest Audiology test results

Remember I was going to have this testing done? My Rheum specialist said she didn't feel it was Fibro related so she was leaving it to my pdoc who sent me to the ENT......


Well the audiology test last week was less than six months from my prior one and my hearing has taken a dive...Wow. No wonder I am unable to hear the people sitting next to me even with my hearing aids unless they talk loud. 


WORD RECOGNITION:
LEFT: 32%
RIGHT: 48%
I have lost half my hearing and my ability to recognize the spoken word is crap...At this rate I may be Deaf before I turn 60...
I am currently learning more sign language and practicing what I learned over time with Momma. 
The saddest part about this is the loss of laughter from my grandchildren....I need to reflect on all that I do have NOW and remain ever grateful for that...


Now the only thing left for me to do that MAY help a small bit is to see about getting an ear mold for said hearing aids which will allow a bit more sound to travel through. This of course does not necessarily mean that I will be able to hear and understand better. It only means it Might offer me a teeny opportunity. If the insurance will pay for it then I am game. 
This is essentially what I am looking at. I will have my same hearing aids, the bte (behind the ear) ones - in lovely blue that my grandson chose for me<3 
As you can see in the first pic the hearing aid has a small tube for sound to travel through but in the second one it is a little larger allowing for more sound...



Now for the VNG testing report. That was quite an "interesting" test...I felt like I was in some sci-fi movie with the strange goggles that "Gray" (the wonderful examiner) had me wear. He had me sit, stand and then lay back on a table while having me follow images with my eyes, not moving my head. He also introduced cold then warm air to my ears, one at a time in an attempt to simulate the Vertigo. Not fun but they have to try and find out what is causing it since all I did was wake up with it one morning and it remained constant like the proverbial uninvited dinner guest. 
So additions and removals to the goggles, changing my head positions for me and more until the test was finished. 
Results came back that there is nothing they could find conclusively that would have caused the Vertigo I experienced. Vertigo which was likened to a severe concussion although this time I did not get injured....this is four and one half years later.  So we will keep watch on it, for now and see if it appears again - fun fun! 


and that - is that! 


Peace