What’s something that bothers you or weighs on you? Let it go.
Talk out the letting go process and how you’re going to be better to yourself for it.
Major depression is a serious medical illness affecting 15 million American adults, or approximately 5-8 percent of the adult population in a given year. (NAMI)
Major Depression affects every facet of our lives and affects twice as many women than men although it is not yet known why. Left untreated, Major Depression can lead to suicide.
Living with Major Depression and experiencing the loss of a loved one can send many into a deeper Depressive episode and if help is not sought whether it be the council of a trusted friend or a professional, things can take a drastic turn for the worse.
Thankfully for me today, the thought of suicide is not an option not even on my darkest days. As a teenager it was, yes, daily. After I became pregnant with my son it ceased being an option ~ permanently. I now have beautiful grandchildren.
What weighs on me now is the heaviness of grief for the last year. Blanketing me like the November child I am it wraps me but not in comfort. The pain at times becomes unbearable and rivers flow forth bursting the dams that for long stood in place. Numbness is welcome some days compared to the overwhelming pain of loss.
Acknowledging the process and each step I make as I move forward and sometimes sideways through this shaky ground is easier when I journal for then I have the ability to read how far I have travelled. It is there, in words penned by my hand.
Grief is a process and chart's it's own course in the waters of our lives. The course is basically the same yet we each journey it our own way. Some stuff it down, cover it up, some bag it up and take it to the curb and go on. I wish I could do that but it is not within me, this oh so emotional winter baby who cries at commercials...
My prior work and familiarity with death and the dying never prepared me for the personal grief I have been traversing. So different here on the other side ~
The letting go is hell. It hurts, it aches in every joint, ever cell and fibre of my being. What makes the letting go exponentially painful and complicated is grieving multiple losses at the same time. They are not grieved for the same.
How long..I ask? How long will this process take? I want to be done with it, finished. I know the answers long before asking the questions ~ each in their own time.....
I am learning to release the pain, name the emotions, feel them. Cry with the tears as they appear without notice in the check out lines sometimes in waves, acknowledge them and allow them their freedom...
The mother daughter bond remains ever strong within her heart even though her soul feels torn apart. One year yesterday and the pain is still so fresh and new...
I miss you momma<3
Shared via email and in a group. When I locate the link I will post it here....
GRIEF HAS NO EXPIRATION DATE......
Grief is a life-long journey. An emotional handicap you get up, and live with everyday. It doesn't mean you can't lead a happy life, but it is a choice, and takes work.
The frequencey and intensity of those grief pangs/knives should lessen over time, but the reality is every now and then for the rest of your life, you will feel those pangs. Everyone grieves at their own pace, and in their own way. There is no one way to grieve, and no certain order, and no timeline. There is definitely not an expiration date.
Grief will take on different forms in different people. Not everyone cries, others cry all the time. Some exercise a lot. Others talk about it a lot. Many seek counseling or join a support group, and enjoy the company of good and understanding listener.
If years after your loss, thinking of your loved one missing a special day or milestone in your life, makes you sad, put you in a funk, or makes your cry, don't beat youself up. Allow yourslef the ability to grieve the loss of memories not created. As long as the frequency and intensity of grief eases - even if it is slowly over time - you are coping in positive ways. Alternatively, if years after the loss, you can't bear the mention of your loved ones name, you sleep all day, you aren't participatin in your normal everday activities, you do thing to "numb" or excape your grief, those are warning signs that you are not coping well, and should seek the assitance you need to begin healing.
Grieving in a healthy manner, taking steps to move forward, and rebuild your life with a new normal, doesn't mean you won't have those tough days or tough moments.
There is no expiration date. Grief never fully goes away. That doesn't have to mean you can't and won't live a happy and productive life. What it does mean is the loved you shared with loved ones lost, doesn't have an expiration date either.
“Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself and know that everything in this life has a purpose.” Elisabeth Kubler Ross
You are absolutely right about grief. There is no time table for it. It has been nearly a year since I lost my 31 year old brother to cancer. Sometimes, it feels like it was yesterday.
ReplyDelete